


All I Could Ask For

by InsouciantCastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-26
Updated: 2014-05-26
Packaged: 2018-01-26 16:19:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1694636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsouciantCastiel/pseuds/InsouciantCastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas should never have been friends, but somehow they managed to find each other. Dean has loved Cas for fifteen years and will be happy if that is all he can ever have. A midnight trip through a junkyard may change everything that Dean has ever thought. Could it give him everything he's ever wanted?</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I Could Ask For

“Cas!” Dean hissed, the sound of his voice breaking through the stillness of the night air. “Jesus Christ! Cas! What the fuck are you doing?” Dean slid to a stop, feet skidding in the grass damp with dew. He bent over at the waist, his hands gripping his jean covered thighs, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Raising his head, his green eyes narrowed as he shot a glare at his best friend. 

“What's the matter, Winchester?” Castiel threw a mocking glance over his shoulder. One foot was raised and fitted through a hole in the wire fence that surrounded a a junkyard, the No Trespassing sign hanging clearly beside the fingers that were wrapped around the supporting pole. “You scared?” 

Castiels low chuckle caused Dean to growl low in his chest. 

“Fucking hell, Cas.” Dean straightened and stepped toward his friend, a hand reaching out to grasp at the bicep covered in black long sleeves, pulling Castiel off the fence. “This isn't a fucking joke, Cas,” Dean spat angrily. “We're not going through there.” Dean waved his free hand toward the sign that practically glowed in the bright moonlight. 

“What? The sign?” Castiel scoffed. “You're actually worried about a fucking sign?” He shook his head in mock sadness, his blue eyes glinting. “You're getting soft in your old age, Winchester.” He reached a hand up and patted Dean's cheek gently before a laugh sputtered from his lips. He pulled back and searched Dean's face, finding only seriousness in his friends solemn face.

“Dean, seriously,” Cas's voice was low. Hell, he didn't want to get caught either, so he wasn't taking any chances that his voice would carry in the night air. “You can't actually be telling me that you're scared.”

“No, you idiot,” Dean felt his face flush in embarrassment. “I'm not scared.” his mouth worked as he sought for words. His cheek still tingled from the touch of Cas's fingers. 

Dean and Cas had met in high school, seemingly a lifetime ago. No one had ever expected the pair to even move in the same circles, much less form a friendship that had spanned close to fifteen years now. 

Castiel was a loner, choosing to spend his time around the back of the school, smoking and skipping class with his small group of tattooed, eyeliner wearing friends. More often than not, he could be found perched on the low cement wall, one foot pulled up so his knee was bent, his blue eyes glinting from behind the heavy eyeliner, a half smoked cigarette held loosely between fingers tipped with black paint. He barely went to class, choosing instead to sit in his spot and throw insults at the students as they passed by.

Dean, on the other hand was the school jock. Beloved by all, students and teachers alike, he was the king of the school. He wore his letter jacket proudly, strutting through the halls, secure in his kingdom. He had his pick of any of the girls in the school. They all fawned over him, sighing morosely if his gaze never passed their way, giggling and blushing madly if it did. Quite simply, Dean ruled the school. He was a beast on the football field and a borderline genius to boot. Without even trying, he had the world by the balls, socially and academically. 

The day he walked full force into Castiel, knocking the other boy to the floor, was the day his life changed forever. Looking down into the blue eyes glaring at him from his feet, Dean's breath caught in his throat. He knew who Castiel was, of course. Dean knew everyone in the school. He'd just never paid the goth boy and mind. He wasn't part of Dean's world. Seeing the fury flashing in those glorious eyes, though, watching Castiels full, pink lips tighten until they were white around the edge, Dean knew that he was never going to be able to ignore Castiel again. Reaching out a hand, he had offered up a “Sorry, dude.” only to have his hand slapped away with a low “Fuck you, loser”. Dean watched, stunned as Castiel pushed himself to his feet, brushed the dust off the ever present black skinny jeans and turned his back to stride away angrily, muttering under his breath.

From that moment, Dean wasn't able to get Cas off his mind. He went out of his way at school to ensure that he passed by Cas's perch as many times as he could in a day. Every time, he would smile and wave, a cheerful “Hi Cas!” as he passed. Most times, Cas would just curl his lip and turn his head away, blowing smoke from his mouth as he waited for Dean to pass by. 

As the weeks went on though, Dean could see Cas starting to soften. Now, when he walked by and waved cherrily at the other boy, Cas would stare at him, his brow furrowed in confusion. 

The day that Cas raised his own hand in a small wave, Dean stopped and walked over to the cement wall. Turning around, he placed his palms on the roughness and with a slight jump, perched beside Cas, ignoring the shocked look on the other boys face. 

“What the fuck do you want, loser?” Cas growled, raising the cigarette to his chapped lips and taking a long haul. Turning his head to face Dean, he blew the smoke into his face, smirking when Dean choked slightly.

“Agh,” Dean's face contorted as he waved a hand to dispel the smoke. Once his eyes stopped watering, he tilted his head and looked at Castiel, who was still smirking in amusement at Dean's distress. 

“Well?” Cas drawled as he took another slow drag off the cigarette. 

Dean caught Cas's eyes and held his gaze. “Nothin' really, man. Just thought we could have a talk. That's all” his shoulders lifted in a slight shrug as his lips twitched in a small smile. 

They spent the entire afternoon that first day, sitting on the wall, learning about each other. It had taken Dean a while to break through Castiel's defences, but his reticence was no match for Dean's gentle charm. From that moment forward, they were inseparable. 

Now, fifteen years later, they were still best friends, still never without the other. Cas had lost the eyeliner and the skinny jeans, but he had never lost the quick wit and the cutting sarcasm. 

Dean had taken off the leather letter jacket but had kept the gentle caring that he had for everyone in his sphere. 

Dean had also kept the massive crush he had developed on Castiel the first day when they had collided in the hallway. 

Never did he reveal to Castiel how he felt. Not once had he allowed his attraction to his best friend be known to anyone. He dated his way through the female population of the high school, and gritted his teeth as he watched Cas do the same. 

Neither of them had found that special someone though. Dean knew why he hadn't. He would never be fully happy with anyone but Castiel. He'd come to that realization many years ago and had accepted that fact. All he cared about was that Cas was happy and that he stayed in Dean's life. Everything else paled in comparison to those two things. He would never let anything happen to come between them. Especially not the feelings that he knew were not reciprocated. 

Lowering his eyes to the hand that was still grasping Castiel's bicep, Dean drew in a deep breath and forced his fingers to loosen and fall away. He couldn't stop himself from lightly trailing his fingers down the fabric of the long sleeved blue shirt that clung to the muscles of the other man's arm. 

Dean always loved Cas in blue. After mentioning that to Cas once, years ago when he was getting ready for a date with some chick he'd picked up at a bar, Cas had raised his eyebrows at him and grinned, showing just the slightest bit of teeth. 

“That so, Winchester?” he had stepped closer to Dean, bringing their bodies close enough that Dean could feel his warm breath caress his cheek. “Well,” he whispered lowly, his eyes trailing over Dean's flushed face. “Guess I'd better wear it more often then.” His eyes had flicked from Deans to his lips then back again before bursting out in laughter. 

From that day, though, Cas had worn blue more often. Dean certainly wasn't complaining. The colour complimented his eyes, making them practically shine. 

Taking a step back, now from Castiel after letting his hand drop. “I'm not scared, Cas,” he repeated. 

“Then what, Dean?” Cas tilted his head to the side, his lips twitching into his trademark smirk. “What's the problem? Lets just jump the fence and take the shortcut home.” He gestured behind him. “You know it cuts at least ten minutes off the walk and I don't know about you,” he caught Dean's gaze, “but I'm fucking tired. I just want to get home and get some sleep.”

Dean tipped his head back and sighed deeply. “Yeah, Cas, I know.” Cas had worked a double shift at the book store today before heading out with Dean to celebrate his almost birthday. His actual birthday wasn't until next week, but this was a tradition they had started about 10 years ago, the only year that Cas hadn't been around to celebrate with Dean on the actual day. They'd gone out the week before to celebrate together and somehow it just continued every year. 

This year they had gone to the new club that had opened last month. Walking into the darkened room, the heavy beat of the music thrumming in Dean's chest, he had known right away that he really didn't want to be there. After one beers, standing at the bar, so close that their arms brushed together every time they raised the brown bottle to their lips, they had both known that it was time to go. Neither of them was in the least bit interested in the meat market that they found themselves in. The girls were hot, no doubt about that, but their brash manners, the loud beat of the music, the pushing of sweaty bodies in the crowded room was too much for both men. 

Resigning himself to actually jumping the fence, Dean nodded as he rolled his eyes and gestured to the fence. “Yeah, alright man.” he said tiredly. “But I swear, if you get us arrested, I'm cutting holes in the ass of your favourite jeans.

A quick grin flashed across Castiels face. Turning from Dean, he placed his foot back in the same hole in the fence and quickly launched himself over it. Landing softly on the other side, he turned back to see Dean still standing in the wet grass, a large palm running down his face. 

“C'mon, Dean.” he waved his hand at his friend, gesturing for him to hurry up. “Let's go. I'm tired.”

“Yeah, Cas. I'm coming,”. Lowering his chin to his chest, he took in a deep breath and climbed the fence. There was never a time he was ever going to be able to say no to Cas. He was so fucking whipped, it wasn't even funny anymore. 

*****

Going through that junkyard had been exactly the mistake Dean had thought it would be. 

They were about halfway through, the rusting frames of cars casting eerie shadows on the ground when Dean first heard the low growl. Reaching out, his fingers grappled at the fabric of Cas's sleeve as he whispered, “Cas! Do you hear that?”

“Hear what, Dean?” Castiels voice was laced with amusement. “I swear, turning 30 has turned you into an old woman.” he sniggered. 

“Fuck, Cas. I'm serious.” Dean hissed. “I hear growling.”

“Do you need me to hold your hand Dean? Is the scary junkyard too much for you now that you're old?” Cas's blue eyes crinkled in amusement as his gaze roved over Dean's face. Dean's breath caught as Cas ran his tongue over his chapped lips. Dean's eyes traced the movement, a low groan almost escaping him at the thought of catching Cas's tongue with his own. His body actually swayed forward only to be brought to an abrupt stop at the sound of the low “Oh, shit!” from Cas. 

Looking up, he saw Cas's eyes had widened as he looked over Dean's shoulder. Fingers dug into Dean's arm as Cas grabbed at him, tugging insistantly. “Run, Dean!” he hissed. 

Throwing a look over his shoulder, Dean's heart dropped as he saw the snarling face of the junkyard dog as it ran toward them, it's prey.

“Fuck!” Dean yelled as he broke into a run beside Cas. He shot a look at his best friend. Cas's face was lit up with exhilaration. A laugh escaped from Dean at the wide smile his friend was wearing, the light in his eyes. 

“Don't ever say your pre-birthday celebration was boring Dean!” Cas panted as his legs pumped, the pair trying to avoid the snapping jaws of the snarling dog that was gaining quickly on them.

“Fuck you, Cas!” Dean grinned back. The two men reached the far side of the junkyard and without stopping vaulted over the fence, landing panting on their backs. The dog, denied it's prey, snapped uselessly at the wire in a vain attempt to bite through to get to the pair that was convulsing in laughter. 

Rolling onto his side, Cas propped himself up on one arm and leaned over Dean, lowering his face until his lips brushed the shell of Dean's ear. “You might have had this one right Winchester,” he whispered lowly, his breath fanning across Dean's skin. 

Dean froze. He simply couldn't function with the way Cas's body aligned with his. Cas's chest was flush with his own, the other man's lips lightly tracing his ear as his whispered words settled into Dean's brain. He swallowed thickly, his own wide eyes searching Cas's expression as his friend pulled back slightly. A groan actually escaped this time as the pink tip of Cas's tongue peeked out from between his lips, wetting them. 

Dean swore Cas's eyes darkened at the low sound that ground from Dean's chest. He could feel Cas's breath quicken. Dean shivered as a hand raised and tentatively worked through the strands of his hair. Cas's blue eyes flickered over Dean's face, a tightening at the corners as his face slowly lowered until their foreheads were pressing together, their breaths mingling. 

Dean lost all ability to function. Of it's own accord, his hand raised until it was cupping the back of Cas's head, his own fingers threading through the dark hair, something he had always dreamed of. Fuck, it was just as soft as he'd imagined. Cas's eyes slid closed at the sensation of Dean's fingers sliding across his scalp, his breathing coming harsher from slightly parted lips. 

“C-Cas...” Deans voice was whisper soft, the tightness in his chest barely allowing the sound to escape his lips. He gasped as Cas moved slightly, trailing his nose lightly across Dean's cheek until his lips were once again by Dean's ear. 

“Yeah, Winchester?” Cas's voice was low, gravelly. He hadn't lost the confidence that always coloured his tone, but there was a slight edge to it now. 

Dean shivered at the warmth of his breath on the shell of his ear. 

“Is there a problem?” Cas whispered, placing a kiss in the hollow behind Dean's earlobe. He trailed soft kisses along the column of Dean's throat, stopping to bite lightly at the thundering pulse point.

Dean's eyes slid closed, his entire body trembling at the sensation of Cas' lips on his heated skin. He was lost in the feeling, his brain having gone blank at the touch of his best friend, the only person he had ever truly wanted. He squeezed his eyes tight, trying to bring himself under control. He didn't know what had gotten into Cas, but he knew he had to put a stop to it right now, before he made a complete fool of himself.

Placing his hands on Cas's shoulders, he pushed slightly, pulling Cas's head away from his neck where the other man had been busy sucking a mark into his skin. 

Cas's blue eyes were hooded, his full lips parted slightly as he frowned in confusion. 

“Cas.” Dean stopped. His throat was dry and he swallowed thickly again. His eyes roving over his best friends face, taking in his expression. His heart stuttered at the softness that tinged the other man's eyes, the affection he could see reflected in his face. Tentatively, Dean brought a hand up and cupped Castiels cheek, his chest tightening as Cas pushed into it. “Cas, what're you doing?” he whispered.

Cas's eyes had slid closed as he pressed into Dean's hand. Turning his head slightly, he pressed a kiss into Dean's palm before bringing his own hand up and lacing their fingers together. “What I've always wanted to, Dean.” he whispered.

“Wait,” Dean sputtered. His brain shut down at Cas's words. It wasn't possible. Cas was...well Cas was Cas. He was sarcasm and cutting wit. He was confidence and surety. He was glorious and everything Dean had ever wanted. There was no way, no fucking way that Cas wanted Dean. No fucking way at all. The world just didn't work that way.

“I've always wanted you, Dean”, he whispered, his lips tickling Dean's skin as Cas turned his head once more into the the palm holding him, tightening his grip on Dean's fingers. His blue eyes searched Dean's confused but hopeful face. “Right from the start.” he shrugged slightly, his eyes dropping to the grass beside Dean's head in an uncharacteristic show of self consciousness. “I'm just tired of hiding it.”

Cas raised his eyes back to Dean's face, and Dean's heart stuttered at the nervousness and affection he saw reflected there. 

“What?” he breathed.

Lowering his face to Dean's, Cas pressed their foreheads together again, his blue eyes closing as he inhaled deeply. His breath fanned over Dean's face as his words whispered softly. “Always, Dean. Since before you knocked me down in the hallway.” He breathed deeply, their chests pressing together as Dean fought to make sense out of what was happening. “I'd watched you, Dean. Hell, everyone watched you in the school. But I knew you'd never look my way. You had every girl in the school falling at your feet. When you starting paying attention to me, I didn't know what to do. Then, that day when you sat with me, when you made that first move, I knew I'd never be able to let you go. I would settle for your friendship, Dean, because that is all I'd ever have from you.” He shook his head slowly side to side. “I've loved you for years, Dean.”

 

“Cas,” Dean breathed, his heart soaring. He couldn't process what Cas what saying. It wasn't possible. He'd spent so many years hiding his own desire for Cas, afraid that if the other man found out how he felt, how he wanted him that he'd lose his friendship. He couldn't make the switch from Cas is only my friend to Cas actually wants me too. He brain short circuited trying to make the connection. 

“Tell me I don't have it wrong, Dean.” Cas whispered, his lips now feather light against his own. “Tell me I'm not fucking this up. I've wanted you for so long, Dean. I hoped you felt the same. The way you look at me sometimes..” his voice trailed off.

“You don't have it wrong, Cas,” Dean's voice faltered slightly at the sharp intake of breath, Cas's only reaction to his words. “Fuck, Cas.” he surged forward, catching Cas's parted lips with his own. 

Cas froze, his eyes gone wide in shock before they slid closed on a groan. He pressed Dean into the damp ground, moving his body so he was now completely covering his friend. His hands came up to either side of Dean's face, warm palms holding him in place as his mouth opened over Dean's, his tongue sliding along the seam of Dean's mouth. A desperate moan escaping him as Dean opened his mouth to allow his tongue entrance. 

Dean didn't know how much time passed while they lay there, hands roaming over the others' body, mouths moving together, their tongues sliding against the other. Time was lost in the tender touches, the soft sighs as they each discovered the body of the man they had wanted for so many years. 

Finally, Cas pulled back slightly, placing a chaste kiss on Dean's slack lips. His hand came back to Dean's cheek, thumb tracing Dean's cheekbone as he gazed tenderly into the other man's eyes. 

“Fuck me, Cas.” Dean breathed, his eyes roving over Cas's flushed cheeks, loving the little pants of air coming from the other man. “What the hell took us so long?”

Cas lowered his head, placing a kiss to the hollow at the base of Dean's neck, smiling against his skin at the gasp that action produced. His lips tickled Dean's skin as he spoke. 

“I didn't think you ever would,” Cas whispered as he trailed his lips along he exposed skin before him. His fingers traced lightly at the hem of Dean's t-shirt, lifting it slightly until he found bare skin. He teased along the waist of Dean's jeans, before sliding up his taut abdomen, feeling the ridges of the muscles there. He buried his face in Deans shoulder as he spoke. 

“I told you, Dean. I've wanted to do this for years.” his voice was low and harsh. “I hoped...I dreamed that you felt the same way, but I was never sure. The way you would look at me sometimes, I....” he stopped abruptly, pulling back to catch Dean's eyes. “I tried, Dean.” he whispered. “I really did try to just be your friend. I tried to be happy for you when you were dating, especially that bitch Lisa. God, I hated her.” he growled lowly. “I knew she could have been the one, Dean and it killed me knowing that she might take you away from me.”

Dean's hand moved up to cup Cas's head, trailing his fingers through the soft strands, scratching lightly at his scalp. Cas groaned and turned his head to place a kiss on Dean's heated skin. “Nothing, Cas,” Dean's voice was unsteady, still trying to process the things that Cas was saying. He was hearing the words he'd dreamed of. He had Cas, Cas in his arms after so many years of waiting, of watching and wanting. There was no way he was ever going to let this go. “There is nothing, there's never been anything that could take me away from you.” 

A sudden movement and Cas was on his back in the damp grass, a shocked expression on his flushed face as Dean loomed over him. Lowering his head, Dean placed a tender kiss on Cas' mouth, not trying to start anything, just needing the softness of his mouth on his own. 

“I can't believe you didn't know,” Dean's voice was wondering. “Cas, I've always wanted this. Lisa? She was pretty awesome, sure. And in another life, yeah, she probably could have been the one.” Cas's eyes dropped from Dean's at his words, a flash of pain crossing his face. Dean cupped his cheeks to bring his gaze back to Dean's earnest face. “But she wasn't” Dean whispered, feathering kissing along Cas's cheek, “She couldn't be,” his lips traced Cas's cheekbone. “She wasn't you.” Dean's lips moved back downward, stopping at Cas's lips, taking them once more in a gentle kiss. “She could never be what I needed. I need you, Cas,” Dean placed several chaste kisses on Cas' mouth. “I need you so much.” Dean's voice cracked on the last word, the emotion of finally having Cas in his arms, knowing that he felt the same overwhelming him.

Cas's hands roamed over Dean's back, pulling his shirt up to trail fingers over the ridge of his spine. Dean's skin tingled at the touch, the feel of his hands on his bare skin. 

“What do you say we take this home, Cas?” he whispered against the other mans lips. Groaning, he took Cas's mouth again before pulling back, smiling at the aggravated whine this drew from his friend. “Let's go home.” he whispered again, allowing the thought that this was true in so many ways now. He was finally home, finally where he needed to be. Dean's eyes stung as he took in the beautiful face of the man still pinned beneath him. 

Cas.

His Cas.

*****

Epilogue

 

“Dean!” Sam's voice echoed in the empty hall. He peeked his head into an open door, finding his brother seated on a stool in the middle of the room, his head in his hands.

“Dean,” he repeated sharply. “Dude, what are you doing?” he threw a hand out behind him, gesturing down the hall. “Everyone's waiting for you!” Sam crossed the room to lay a heavy hand on his brother shoulder. “Dean,” his voice gentled. “Are you okay?”

Raising his head, Dean's eyes caught Sam's imploringly. “I can't do it, Sam” he whispered hoarsely, his face stark white against the black of his tuxedo. “I can't do it,” he repeated, shaking his head.

“What do you mean, you can't do it? Of course you can.” Sam ran a hand agitatedly through his hair, pulling it back from his face. “You can just leave Cas waiting out there. It's your wedding day, for crying loud, Dean!”

Dean shook his head sharply. “It has to be a mistake, Sam. Things like this don't happen for me, you know that.” Dean's eyes were wild as they looked up at his baby brother. “It's never going to work, Sam. Cas is going to leave me. He's going to figure out that he's too good for me, and he's going to leave. I can't take that, Sam. I can't. I can't lose him that way. If I just don't go out there, it'll never happen and I won't lose him.” The words rushed out frantically as Dean pushed himself off the stool and started pacing restlessly around the room. He reached up and removed his bow tie before undoing the top button of his crisp white dress shirt, desperate for some air. 

“Dean,” Sam's face was a mixture of understanding and exasperation. “Dean, you're being an idiot.” he said with a sad smile. “Seriously.” Reaching out a hand he grabbed Dean's bicep as he raced past, pulling him to a stop and turning his around to face him. “Cas loves you, Dean. Fuck, I've never seen two people in love the way you two are. I swear to God, I was about ready to lock the two of you in a room when you finally figured it out for yourselves.” Sam lowered his head to catch Dean's frantic gaze. “There are no two people in this world as perfect for each other as you and Cas, Dean. I promise you, he is never going to leave you. He loves you more than anything. It's disgusting really, just being in the same room as you two. Fuck I thought it was bad when you guys weren't dating. The last two years though? God the eye fucking alone is enough to make you sick.”

Dean stepped back, taking in a deep, steadying breath.

“Dean,” Sam started again. “Believe me when I tell you that you and Cas are perfect for each other. Please believe that for me.” Sam reached out to pull his brother into a hug. “Now, c'mon, jerk. Don't leave your fiance standing out there by himself. Let's get you two married.” Sam slapped a hand on Dean's shoulder, wrapped his arm around his brother and led him out the door. “Get this back on, you look like a slob.” he teased as he threw the discarded bow tie to his brother. 

Dean shot a glare at his giant baby brother and grabbed at the black fabric before it his the floor. With trembling fingers, he wrapped it around his neck and tied it properly, adjusting the placement till it was perfectly centered. “Yeah, ok, bitch.” Dean muttered. “Let's go.”

Dean took in a slow, steadying breath and stepped out of the room, his heart thundering. He stepped one foot out and began the walk to his beloved, and to the beginning of the rest of his life.


End file.
